I was just telling someone the other day, how life has changed over such a short period of time.

To begin writing about this is hard, because to be honest, I don’t know where to begin. I stopped myself from writing here then, and I’m going to ask myself to write something here again now.

There is a need to pause and let the mind ponder how it feels and what it wants. Penning these thoughts in words helps, for me at least. So maybe you can try this someday too.

The last few years were definitely within my formative years. How so? Because it was the age where you really start to learn to appreciate the world around you. By that, I literally mean the world.

That was the time when you truly understand how important it is to you that you have people, no matter good or bad, for better or worse, who will stand by you always. I ever wondered about a question, should you appreciate those who love you no matter what you are, and this love of theirs will continue from the moment you’re born till they cease to exist; or those who love you because of what you are and what you do?

I won’t say the so called “answer” here since answers aren’t always out there huh?

That was the time when I found out how wonderful it was to be in love and that it was so powerful that it commanded your everyday life; and that everything seemed so blissful that you were afraid to say it loud because fate might get jealous and turn all you had into bubbles of illusion. That was also the time when you felt that love could give you such strength that you could let go of everything rationale that you once held in mind and allowed irrationality to sit in because you knew that there weren’t even consequences to worry about.

That was also the time when you learnt how to love someone; realizing and knowing someone you were once part of would be better off without you; And that this was more important than a part of you being ripped off, be it in the most violent or gentle manner; bloody or bloodless. How letting go of what may seem the most precious thing to you then was necessary because it was suppose to heal your wounds and make your heart stronger; How sadness could go beyond words and made you into a zombie that walked the everyday streets of the living earth, where even the magnificent sky you have always adored or the most beautiful melody you have ever heard could not intrigued you in the slightest way.

That was the time when you understood “you” more. How stubborn you could be and how reckless and selfish you could go. Because you wanted a so called reply, an answer, you tried your best extort it, callously. You bruise yourself along the way and hurt the people whom you dear. That was too the time where you realize that for some things no matter how hard you try, it just doesn’t turn out the way it should and you realize how hard it is to learn to stop so that the damage you will do is minimal.

That was the time when you learnt to make your face a mask, a mask that hides the pain, a pain that eats the heart, a heart that nobody will know.

That was the time when you discovered how lonely the yellow street lights can be and that the once lovely gibbous moon that hung in the sky can seem so sad that it made you cry. It was then that you realized how frightening love can be when the silence of the long dark nights you had to go through after it left was nothing compared to it. It was then that you realized that just the thought of a mere name could make the heart hurt so much that nothing you know of in this world could make it stop.

That was the time when you come to understand that there exists things that only you yourself achieve and that no one could save you from the mess you were in. You’re the only one in the universe that can make things right in your world. And so then was the time where you literally learnt how to pick yourself up again and tell yourself confidently that everything will be fine.

That was the time when you sought after His help and guidance the most; the moment of truth where you tried to understand and understood the things that were happening around you. You were taught that the thought that you were the only one who could achieve things was too arrogant. He found you through his mysterious ways and you were shown how far faith in Him could bring you.

That was the time you learnt how to share; and that saying out what you feel doesn’t make you weak but stronger than ever, because then you know you’re not alone. And you know that even what may seem the quietest days of your life, aren’t those that are filled with solitude as there will always be someone there for you, if you would just bother to open your eyes.

That was the time when you looked at the sky with the same amount of fondness you once had and knew that everything is fine.

You now understand that the world goes on, so will life on it, no matter what happens. And that you keep pace with the world with your best to move on so that you know that every breath you take in is human and is real. You realize that after all that you’ve been through, nothing has really changed. The people who love you are still here and that those whom you love are as good as ever. The people whom you once love are still part of you despite their departure and that these memories, good or bad, are precious. The world that He made is as beautiful as it still makes you gaze in awe and that even the most little things in life still intrigue you in their own way.

Let your heart keep time and it will...

Labels: life

I was just telling someone the other day, how life has changed over such a short period of time.

To begin writing about this is hard, because to be honest, I don’t know where to begin. I stopped myself from writing here then, and I’m going to ask myself to write something here again now.

There is a need to pause and let the mind ponder how it feels and what it wants. Penning these thoughts in words helps, for me at least. So maybe you can try this someday too.

The last few years were definitely within my formative years. How so? Because it was the age where you really start to learn to appreciate the world around you. By that, I literally mean the world.

That was the time when you truly understand how important it is to you that you have people, no matter good or bad, for better or worse, who will stand by you always. I ever wondered about a question, should you appreciate those who love you no matter what you are, and this love of theirs will continue from the moment you’re born till they cease to exist; or those who love you because of what you are and what you do?

I won’t say the so called “answer” here since answers aren’t always out there huh?

That was the time when I found out how wonderful it was to be in love and that it was so powerful that it commanded your everyday life; and that everything seemed so blissful that you were afraid to say it loud because fate might get jealous and turn all you had into bubbles of illusion. That was also the time when you felt that love could give you such strength that you could let go of everything rationale that you once held in mind and allowed irrationality to sit in because you knew that there weren’t even consequences to worry about.

That was also the time when you learnt how to love someone; realizing and knowing someone you were once part of would be better off without you; And that this was more important than a part of you being ripped off, be it in the most violent or gentle manner; bloody or bloodless. How letting go of what may seem the most precious thing to you then was necessary because it was suppose to heal your wounds and make your heart stronger; How sadness could go beyond words and made you into a zombie that walked the everyday streets of the living earth, where even the magnificent sky you have always adored or the most beautiful melody you have ever heard could not intrigued you in the slightest way.

That was the time when you understood “you” more. How stubborn you could be and how reckless and selfish you could go. Because you wanted a so called reply, an answer, you tried your best extort it, callously. You bruise yourself along the way and hurt the people whom you dear. That was too the time where you realize that for some things no matter how hard you try, it just doesn’t turn out the way it should and you realize how hard it is to learn to stop so that the damage you will do is minimal.

That was the time when you learnt to make your face a mask, a mask that hides the pain, a pain that eats the heart, a heart that nobody will know.

That was the time when you discovered how lonely the yellow street lights can be and that the once lovely gibbous moon that hung in the sky can seem so sad that it made you cry. It was then that you realized how frightening love can be when the silence of the long dark nights you had to go through after it left was nothing compared to it. It was then that you realized that just the thought of a mere name could make the heart hurt so much that nothing you know of in this world could make it stop.

That was the time when you come to understand that there exists things that only you yourself achieve and that no one could save you from the mess you were in. You’re the only one in the universe that can make things right in your world. And so then was the time where you literally learnt how to pick yourself up again and tell yourself confidently that everything will be fine.

That was the time when you sought after His help and guidance the most; the moment of truth where you tried to understand and understood the things that were happening around you. You were taught that the thought that you were the only one who could achieve things was too arrogant. He found you through his mysterious ways and you were shown how far faith in Him could bring you.

That was the time you learnt how to share; and that saying out what you feel doesn’t make you weak but stronger than ever, because then you know you’re not alone. And you know that even what may seem the quietest days of your life, aren’t those that are filled with solitude as there will always be someone there for you, if you would just bother to open your eyes.

That was the time when you looked at the sky with the same amount of fondness you once had and knew that everything is fine.

You now understand that the world goes on, so will life on it, no matter what happens. And that you keep pace with the world with your best to move on so that you know that every breath you take in is human and is real. You realize that after all that you’ve been through, nothing has really changed. The people who love you are still here and that those whom you love are as good as ever. The people whom you once love are still part of you despite their departure and that these memories, good or bad, are precious. The world that He made is as beautiful as it still makes you gaze in awe and that even the most little things in life still intrigue you in their own way.

Let your heart keep time and it will...

Labels: life