I woke up today at 51xam to find myself in tears.


Hah it's been quite some time since this happened, i was really tired, but i din wanna go back to unpleasant thoughts, so i decided not to go back to sleep. Workload from the past few days has been eating into my sleep time. Surprisingly i wasn't as drained as i would expect myself to be.

Had a crisp morning shower. I like shower time, you stone all you can. In the end i went to school super early, like the 1st person in school or rather in canteen. As usual, i had the propensity for tis place, the court.The basketball court has lotsa memories, although im not a bballer, there's happy, there's sad and there's good and there's also bad, well i guess all things are like that. And i really liked the quiet morning, or rather it looked like the night because the sky was as dark as night.

And so yea i thought thru, i was figuring out why i was in tears this morning. I remembered who and what i dreamt of but i din seem to be able to understand why i had such intense emotions. The last time i woke up crying i think i dreamt of someone dear to me dying. Queer.

And i thought thru again, what i've been doing all these while. The evening less than 24h ago, I had to tell you, and when i tot well maybe next time, haha, i saw someone familiar.

No matter how hard i try, how badly i want it to change, you just wont respond and things just don't turn out the way you want them to be. Why?

No answer.

Can i ask you?

No.

"What do you want me to say to you?"

(Pause) yea, what do i want from you?

I dont know. But i know i need to hear you say something.

There's no need for anything now. Nothing is gonna change.

Absolutely Correct.

But I don't want it to stay this way,

so what if I don't want to? It doesn't matter anymore. To you, but for me, yes it still does, a lot.

Why so stubborn?

Because i wanna be sure.

Be sure of?

...




"Why are you giving me that look?"

I can't help it. I don't wanna bother you but I don't like this kinda ending. It's sucks, totally.

Tension of the opposites,

Yet no matter how hard i try...

You don't hear me, you won't.

You get sad when your friends are unhappy
You get upset when your familiy troubles you
You get angry when another pighead bothers you
You smile when the person beside you tells you a lame joke.

But you dont feel a thing no matter what i do.

plain emotion,

wrong, it's plain expression.

How come?

I dont know.







Get this clear and right,

okay!

You don't mean as much.

Mm, ok, i got that one long ago.

Strangers.

Strange, after all, we were/are friends, weren't/aren't we?

So yea, we should continue staying like tat.

But for how long?

"Forever"

(silence)


Love is pain,
Love is pain...

Labels: I picture your face in the back of my eyes

I woke up today at 51xam to find myself in tears.


Hah it's been quite some time since this happened, i was really tired, but i din wanna go back to unpleasant thoughts, so i decided not to go back to sleep. Workload from the past few days has been eating into my sleep time. Surprisingly i wasn't as drained as i would expect myself to be.

Had a crisp morning shower. I like shower time, you stone all you can. In the end i went to school super early, like the 1st person in school or rather in canteen. As usual, i had the propensity for tis place, the court.The basketball court has lotsa memories, although im not a bballer, there's happy, there's sad and there's good and there's also bad, well i guess all things are like that. And i really liked the quiet morning, or rather it looked like the night because the sky was as dark as night.

And so yea i thought thru, i was figuring out why i was in tears this morning. I remembered who and what i dreamt of but i din seem to be able to understand why i had such intense emotions. The last time i woke up crying i think i dreamt of someone dear to me dying. Queer.

And i thought thru again, what i've been doing all these while. The evening less than 24h ago, I had to tell you, and when i tot well maybe next time, haha, i saw someone familiar.

No matter how hard i try, how badly i want it to change, you just wont respond and things just don't turn out the way you want them to be. Why?

No answer.

Can i ask you?

No.

"What do you want me to say to you?"

(Pause) yea, what do i want from you?

I dont know. But i know i need to hear you say something.

There's no need for anything now. Nothing is gonna change.

Absolutely Correct.

But I don't want it to stay this way,

so what if I don't want to? It doesn't matter anymore. To you, but for me, yes it still does, a lot.

Why so stubborn?

Because i wanna be sure.

Be sure of?

...




"Why are you giving me that look?"

I can't help it. I don't wanna bother you but I don't like this kinda ending. It's sucks, totally.

Tension of the opposites,

Yet no matter how hard i try...

You don't hear me, you won't.

You get sad when your friends are unhappy
You get upset when your familiy troubles you
You get angry when another pighead bothers you
You smile when the person beside you tells you a lame joke.

But you dont feel a thing no matter what i do.

plain emotion,

wrong, it's plain expression.

How come?

I dont know.







Get this clear and right,

okay!

You don't mean as much.

Mm, ok, i got that one long ago.

Strangers.

Strange, after all, we were/are friends, weren't/aren't we?

So yea, we should continue staying like tat.

But for how long?

"Forever"

(silence)


Love is pain,
Love is pain...

Labels: I picture your face in the back of my eyes